’ He gave me that lovely smile of his, so like his fathers, ‘All I want is for you to love me and to be happy. If your being happy means you loving Lena and dad then that’s OK. It might take me a while to really get used to all this but I love you Joanna so I will.’ I couldn’t speak with the emotion of it all, all I could do was to start crying softly. Oh how much I loved him at that moment! My eyes continued to devour him. I wanted to take him inside me, hold him, keep him forever. Then he got up, knelt in front of me, and looked into my eyes. ‘Now I’ve made you cry,’ he said softly, ‘I’m sorry. I don’t ever want to leave you now.’ That made me cry even more. I think at that moment I was emotionally full up. I could hardly think. All I could see was him on his knees in front of me. He looked back at Mike and took a deep breath. Then he took my hands in his. I was trembling with emotion, unable to move let alone speak. ‘I know we haven’t known each other for very long but I know you. ..strange and erotic. A little odd, but pleasant. Not nearly as pleasant as this though.” The counseling sessions that had resulted from the most recent storm in our 33-year marriage had elicited confessions and concessions. I had confessed my emotional need for sexual passion and a fetish for verbal humiliation. She had confessed her inability to refrain from teasing other men, and her intense desire to seduce other women. The main concession was the decision to open our marriage. She allowed me to date other women. I allowed her to explore her polyamorous nature with other men and women. As she jumped at the chance to fulfill bisexual desires repressed for years, I tried to find the balance between intimacy and eroticism. We started with The Ethical Slut as our guidebook, embraced the epithet, and threw ourselves into the wild world of swinging and polyamory. Lilly was a 'switch' - dominant with other women, but submissive with men. My natural passivity frustrated her. To be honest,.
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